How The 'Experts' Define Spirited/High-Need

I found this article online and thougth it might be helpful to identify if you have a high spirited little bugger living under your roof.
http://www.nurturingourfamilies.com/spirited/exptdefn.html

Here is a brief summary of what a few "experts" (Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, William Sears, Linda Budd & Stanley Turecki) consider to be the defining characteristics or personality traits of our wonderful children. Each uses slightly different terminology and labels, but basically it's the same. I say "experts" because I believe that the only true experts of our kids are US!! - we're each the expert on our own child/children. This information has been summarized here for educational purposes *only*.

I've read (and re-read) these four books. They each take a different perspective, but all are focused on helping parents, and their kids, understand what's driving the "spirited/high-needs" child's behavior and how parents can work with their child to create and nurture a positive, healthy, loving relationship.

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
"Raising Your Spirited Child" book and workbook
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book is geared toward children of toddler/preschool age on up. Her work is especially helpful once your child is able to communicate. Mary is a licensed teacher and parent educator with 15+ years experience as director of Minnesota's Early Childhood Family Education programs and the founder of their "spirited children" workshops. She lives in Eagan, MN.

Raising Your Spirited Child Workshop Discussion & Book Review (Note: These links each open a new browser window, they do not change the page on this window. When you're done reading, simply close the new window.)

The "Spirited Child" main characteristics are:

• INTENSITY (loud and dramatic-focused outward, quiet and intently observant - focused inward),
• PERSISTENCE ("lock in" to important ideas, love to debate, goal oriented),
• SENSITIVITY (easily overstimulated by their environment, low sensory thresholds to any of the five senses),
• PERCEPTIVENESS (easily distracted, notice everything going on all the time),
• ADAPTIBILITY (don't transition/shift from one activity to another easily), with REGULARITY natural schedules for eating or sleeping),
• ENERGY (physically active, busy exploring all the time),
• FIRST REACTION (quick withdrawl when first encountering anything new),
• and MOOD (as in moody) as "bonus" characteristics.

In other words, spirited children are "more" of each characteristic.
The Book List w/ Reviews page includes parent reviews of this and other books by this author.

Dr. William and Martha Sears
"Parenting the Fussy Baby and High-Need Child", "The Fussy Baby", "The Discipline Book", "The Baby Book"....
The Sears' are the the Attachment Parenting gurus. The story of their own high-need child, Hayden, is beautifully told in The Fussy Baby Book. They've written over 20 parenting books. Their focus is mostly on babies from birth through early-school, but the Discipline Book covers up to age 10. Dr. Bill is a pediatrician and Martha is a registered nurse and certified childbirth educator. They live in So. California.

The Fussy Baby Book Review (Note: This link opens a new browser window, it does not change the page on this window. When you're done reading, simply close the new window.)
askdrsears.com Ask Dr. Sears' Fussy Baby Index of articles & tips.

The "High-Need" characteristics are:

• INTENSE (cry more, demand immediate responses, feed/nurse voraciously),
• HYPERACTIVE (high energy level-not the disorder),
• DRAINING (use up lots of parents' energy, exhausting to parent),
• FEEDS FREQUENTLY (especially applicable to babies and nursing),
• DEMANDING (of parents and their energy),
• AWAKENS FREQUENTLY (needs less sleep, especially during the day),
• UNSATISFIED (no matter what you do, it doesn't improve their fussiness),
• UNPREDICTABLE (including extreme mood swings),
• SUPERSENSITIVE (keenly aware of their environment, quickly overstimulated),
• UNABLE TO PUT DOWN (especially when babies),
• UNCUDDLY (touch is overstimulating, or hates to be confined, but is cuddly),
• NOT A SELF-SOOTHER (bonds to people, not objects),
• SEPARATION-SENSITIVE ("velcro baby", doesn't like new people/places).
  

Linda S. Budd
"Living With The Active Alert Child"
Linda Budd is a practicing psychologist who specializes in working with children and their parents. She lives in St. Paul, MN where she consults.

"Living With The Active Alert Child" Book Review (Note: This link opens a new browser window, it does not change the page on this window. When you're done reading, simply close the new window.)

{Note: I've been told that not all spirited children are active-alert, but all active-alert children are spirited}

The "Active Alert Child" eleven traits are:

• ACTIVE physically, needs little sleep, can't slow themselves down without help),
• ALERT 4 components are: 1 - keen observers, 2 - no boundaries for self [become overstimulated as they explore everything], 3 - no boundaries for others [get what they want as they intrude on other's space], 4 - no sense of boundaries in the form of rules for appropriate behavior [detect unfairness, but don't always whether or not to try to get their own way], BRIGHT gifted, high IQ),
• CONTROLLING (have high need for control, highly verbal),
• FEARFUL (afraid of new situations, unable to make transitions),
• INTENSE (life is also black or white, happy or sad - no gray areas),
• ATTENTION-HUNGRY (performers, stimulus-hungry feeding on external stimulation),
• TROUBLE GETTING ALONG WITH OTHERS (doesn't easily recognize social/non-verbal cues, controlling),
• FLUCTUATION SELF-ESTEEM (tendency to base their worth upon feedback received from other people, receive more negative messages from others),
• PERFORMERS (charming, delightful, charismatic leaders),
• EMPATHIC ABILITY "does your child read your mind?", is a barometer of your own or others' emotions).
  

Stanley Turecki, M.D.
"The Difficult Child"
Dr. Turecki is a child and family psychiatrist and the father of a "difficult" child. He developed the Difficult Child Program for Beth Israel Med. Ctr. in NYC.

The Difficult Child Book Review (Note: This link opens a new browser window, it does not change the page on this window. When you're done reading, simply close the new window.)

The "Difficult Child" temperment is:

• HIGH ACTIVITY LEVEL (restless, fidgety, hates to be confined, always moving), DISTRACTIBILITY (trouble concentrating and paying attention),
• HIGH INTENSITY (loud and forceful whether miserable, angry or happy),
• IRREGULARITY (unpredictable, no schedule for eating/sleeping),
• NEGATIVE PERSISTENCE (stubborn, gets "locked in", may have long tantrums),
• LOW SENSORY THRESHOLD (sensitive-physically not emotionally, highly aware of environment, creative, strong preferences),
• INITIAL WITHDRAWL (shy and reserved with new people/situations),
• POOR ADAPTABILITY (trouble with transition and change of activity or routine),
• NEGATIVE MOOD (basically serious, not a sunny disposition, may be cranky)